This topic may seem difficult to talk to your children about, but I cannot stress how important it is to start the conversation now. This is HOW we Talk to our Children about Sex! When our children turn eight, they get to go on a special date with dad and mom. On this special date we have a talk with them about sex. We teach them what they need to know at this age about how female and male bodies are different and how it works together to create a baby.
Jase and I feel it is important that this information comes from us, rather than our children learning from some other source. It can sometimes feel awkward to talk to your children about sex so I have a few tips that we have found make it easier to have this conversation.
#1 Find a quiet place for minimal interruptions.
This helps them feel more comfortable in this environment. Something I have noticed with each of our children is how each special date was different. The place we took them on a date and even they way we our conversation about sex went was all dependent on each child and their needs.
#2 Ask what they know about sex.
Because every child is different, and you don’t always know what information they get, it is safe to bet that there will be some things that need clarification. That is why I always like to ask before jumping into teaching, what they already know. This helps them open up and share what they have learned and then gives you an easy way to teach from where they understand and expand on what they know.
#3 Use anatomical correct terms NOT slang.
It’s always better to use the correct terms when talking about our bodies. This helps keep things on a mature level & it’s important that your children feel that this is something serious that should not be taken lightly.
#4 Share the good and the bad about pregnancy.
I like to share both the good and the difficulties in pregnancy. I feel that this helps my children recognize that creating children is not a silly thing that should be taken lightly. Teaching children both sides of the experience can be beneficial in helping them realize the responsibility and commitment that comes with parenthood. It’s nice for children to hear their own birth story, It makes the conversation feel more personal and relevant to them.
#5 Ask your child if they understand.
This is a key point that you don’t want to skip over. I am sure all you parents have experienced that moment when you realize your child does not understand what you thought they did. To save you the trouble of confusion, it’s so much easier to remember to ask a follow up question. I like to play on the safe side and make sure my children understand while we are still on the topic of sex.
#6 Be there for your kids.
Our overall goal is to have open relationships with all our children. We want them to feel they can talk to us about anything going on in their lives. It doesn’t have to be about sex, it could be anything from friends and school to big decisions they are making. We have a safe couch in our room where our children can talk to us. Our rule is that we can never get mad at them when they come talk to us in this place. It makes a difference having a safe place for children to come to us when they need our guidance and support.
Here are two of my favorite resources for how to talk to your children. I hope you find these helpful!
Book: How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It’s Best to Start Early, but It’s Never Too Late — A Step-by-Step Guide for Every Age
Lesson Book: Maturation & Sexual Reproduction
I would love to hear your favorite books and resources!